We’ll flesh out this article with more details in the future, however here’s a rundown of the basics:
Playing safely in the bedroom / dungeon / whereever you fuck:
- Discuss your wants, fantasies and boundaries
- Discuss safe/stop words, or use the traffic light system (search Google if you’ve never heard of this: ‘BDSM traffic light system safe words’. Red means stop, yellow means to check in, and green is all good. Some people add blue for a medical situation. The exact meanings can differ so check with your partners when playing.
- Use lots of lube! It feels better, hurts less and makes things slide. If you haven’t used a brand of lube before, patch test it by rubbing a bit on your inner elbow or your arm, wait a few minutes and see if any skin reaction occurs – if not then your body is fine. Last thing you want is stinging or burning in the wrong places! Lube may also break down toys, like silicon lube and silicon toys. So check your toy material and lube type, and search online to see what’s good and what you should avoid.
Your and their health:
- Check if either of you are on PrEP. Consider getting on it if you have lots of different partners or want to get up to 99% effective protection from HIV. Remember that PrEP doesn’t protect against other STIs, so you should still get tested and use condoms (ideally). To get PrEP, visit your GP, your sexual health service, or search online. Each country has different options and many telehealth and other services are available.
- Use condoms and dental dams. Condoms are still one of the best forms of STI protection. Although it can be fun without condoms, do your due diligence and decide when you aren’t horny. Beware of using condoms with oil or silicon lube as this may cause them to break down. Use water based lube, or search online to check the compatibility of your type of lube and condom. Same goes for dental dams. Dental dams are less common and usually aren’t found or sold in most stores you will visit. Sex stores or your sexual health clinic might have these. If not, you can shop online, or try cutting up a condom and flatten it out as a makeshift dental dam.
- Use sterile gloves for fingering and fisting. All the same rules above apply for gloves as they do for condoms and dental dams. Gloves can be purchased from sex stores or general stores. The best gloves may vary, but you should test them on you and your partner to ensure no skin reactions. One with no scent, little or no powder, and you’re looking for gloves like the blue/white ones doctors usually use. These are thin and strong, smooth and easy to use. They are disposable and should not be reused.
- Get STI/STD tested regularly. Either after every new partner, or every 3 months is recommended. Consult your GP / sexual health professional for the most suitable advice for you. You should also get familiar with the symptoms of STIs to help prevent getting them. Be aware that not all STIs have visible symptoms, so getting a full STI screening (blood test, throat swab, anal swap, and urine sample) is the safest way to be totally sure.
Now that you’ve learned or refreshed yourself on the best practices for horny time, go have fun~
Or, play solo and you don’t have to worry about STIs.
Safer sex practices – barrier methods (various condoms, and dental dams) you can use for safer sex
Image courtesy of healthline